Howard was a young man in his early
30s in 1982 when he telephoned me at UCLA. He had noticed an
announcement for a workshop I was giving entitled "Psychosis:
Mysticism, Shamanism, or Pathology?" He was unable to attend
the workshop, but told me that he was sure I'd be interested
in the story of his "Mental Odyssey." We arranged to
meet for lunch where he began to tell me about the experiences
surrounding his 2-month hospitalization 9 years earlier. I invited
him to present at my UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute seminar
on "Hallucinations and Delusions" attended by psychiatry
residents, psychology interns, and nursing staff. Several other
ex-patients had already come and discussed their psychotic episodes,
their treatment by the mental health system, and the difficulties
they had encountered in readjusting to consensual reality and
societal norms. Howard responded eagerly to my invitation to
present, since he never before had an opportunity to tell the
complete story of his Mental Odyssey. His talk was spellbinding.
I was particularly intrigued with the profuse symbolic imagery
that permeated his account of his psychotic experience. I conducted
15 interview sessions with him during the next 2 years to obtain
the full account.
Howard was right. He had been on an incredible Mental Odyssey,
a journey through the mythological history of humanity. While
in a psychotic state that lasted about 2 months, his everyday
life was filled with images and themes from ancient myths. For
example, he described experiencing a simple afternoon hike up
a mountain as being a journey to heaven during which he encountered
magical paths of entry, power spots, sacred mountains, guiding
spirits, and powerful enemies. The content of his speech, which
was the primary factor that led to his being hospitalized by
his family, reflected his preoccupation with mythological imagery.
He told his family that he had returned from hell, been reborn
and had taken up his rightful place in the Kingdom of Heaven.
He said to one friend: "I am the albatross; you are the
dove." With his choice of the appellation, "Mental
Odyssey," Howard showed his recognition of the mythic dimensions
of his experience. Howard also drew elaborate "keys," as
he called them, that were mandalas stocked with many well-known
symbols and cultural motifs including the Islamic crescent and
star, the yin yang symbol, the infinity sign, and pierced hands,
eyes, and circles.
Howard distinguished himself from the majority of psychotic
patients with whom I have worked by delving on his own into the
mythological, philosophical and artistic parallels to his own
experiences. This became evident to me during the interviews
when he discussed how these symbols still held great importance
for him. I asked him to write an interpretation of the most elaborate
symbolic "key" he had produced during the psychotic
episode (Figure 1). First he re-sketched the "key" to
make its features clearer (Figure 2). The 18 pages of interpretation
he then wrote included extensive references to diverse religious
and spiritual sources including alchemical and esoteric texts,
Native American beliefs, and Jungian concepts.
Despite their esoteric nature, such personal symbols as Howard's
key are of great psychological significance. Jung (1960a) observed
that, "the age-old function of the symbol is still present
today, despite the fact that for many centuries, the trend of
mental development has been toward the suppression of individual
symbol-formation" (p. 49). Howard's key illustrates that
the process of individual symbol-formation still occurs spontaneously
in psychosis. Howard instinctively drew his symbol key in the
form of a mandala, beginning with a prominent center and expanding
along a vertical axis. Mandalas are found in many religions and
are also produced by persons in states of psychological conflict
(Jung, 1960a); they have been observed frequently in the drawings
of psychotic patients (Baynes, 1949). Jung (1959) believed they
have a therapeutic effect on their creators, including psychotic
individuals, by helping them to compensate for the disorder and
confusion of their psychic state.
Yet, despite Howard's sophistication in comprehending the individual
meanings of the symbols he encountered while psychotic, he had
not organized the unfolding of these events into a coherent narrative.
In fact, he reported that he had never before told anyone the
whole story of this episode. As a result, it had remained unintegrated
with the on-going process of his life. Verbalizing the entire
Mental Odyssey to me and its subsequent publication as the story
I entitled, "The Hero With 1000 Milligrams
(Thorazine)," (Lukoff & Everest, 1985) helped Howard
further integrate his psychotic episode into his personal mythology.
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