This case involves questioning of
spiritual values and was described by Emma Bragdon (1995). The
Call of Spiritual Emergency: From Personal Crisis to Personal
Transformation
In 1971, Emma's mother, then 56 was living alone in a small
town Vermont, and working as a visiting nurse. She was a Zen
Buddhist practicing meditation 6-8 hours daily. Her friends
noticed that she was spending more time alone and was becoming
increasingly emotionally labile. They contacted Emma, but she
did not sense a problem since she was having cheerful talks
on the telephone with her mother about plans for her mother
to visit during the birth of Emma's first child. However, before
this happened, Emma's mother went into the woods alone, reading
a passage from Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind where Suzuki Roshi
compares enlightenment to physical death. When found dead,
her finger was pointing to this passage. She had cut her wrists
and throat.
In addition to the bereavement over her mother's suicide,
this loss also triggered a spiritual problem for Emma who was
herself a practicing Zen Buddhist. How could her spiritual
path lead to her mother's suicide? Emma contacted Suzuki Roshi,
who flew with her to Vermont where he conducted a traditional
Buddhist funeral ceremony. During this time, Emma had a number
of powerful spiritual experiences, including feeling herself
engulfed in white light accompanied by ecstatic release. She
sensed that her mother was fine, and that her passing had been
a happy occasion for her. But afterwards, when back in California,
she began to have doubts. How did she really know her mother
was OK? As she became preoccupied with questioning the validity
of her spiritual experiences and tenets, she also wondered
if she was crazy. When it was 10 days past her due date, she
went into her garden to pray, and made a commitment to stop
questioning her spiritual beliefs until 2 months after giving
birth. One hour later, she reports she went into labor. (adapted
from pp. 171-177)
During this period, Emma was in turmoil as she questioned
her spiritual beliefs and path. The guidance of a spiritual
teacher, Suzuki Roshi, and spiritual practices, such as praying,
played an important role in helping her to resolve these conflicts.
<< Back to Case Library |