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Robert had spent 8 years
as the disciple of a teacher from an Asian tradition that emphasized
surrender and obedience. Robert had become one of the teacher's
attendants, and reported that he "Loved the teacher very much."
Yet there were difficulties. The guru frequently embarrassed
Robert publicly, humiliating him in front of large classes
and castigating him for incompetence. He even physically
beat Robert in private. But Robert didn't rebel and hoped
that by continuing to remain under the teacher's guidance,
he might yet win great praise, confirmation, or sponsorship
from his mentor that would enable him to advance spiritually.
Robert left the community after the guru's sexual and financial
misconduct were revealed. Upon leaving, he had intense and
at times even paralyzing feelings of betrayal, anger, fear,
worthlessness and guilt. Robert went into psychotherapy with
a spiritually sensitive therapist. Later in psychotherapy,
he realized that his relationship with the guru replicated
his relationship with his father--an angry alcoholic who had
humiliated and physically injured Robert, but whose approval
he had nevertheless sought. He also worked on major issues
around establishing a life outside the structure of the spiritual
community and integrating his spiritual beliefs and practices
into this new life.
(adapted from pp. 4-5, 16-17 of Bogart, G. C. (1992). Separating
from a spiritual teacher. Journal of Transpersonal Psychology,
24(1), 1-22).
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